Self-discipline is probably the most important skill anyone builds in their life, and the one I struggle with the most. No matter what goal you are trying to achieve, self-discipline is always required.
Having self-discipline means being able to trust yourself. Doing what you said you would do is the best (and probably only) way to build that confidence.
But taking the easy path is just so much… easier. Still, we all know what’s better in the long run 🙂
There are a few hacks for self-discipline that have worked for me individually in the past, and I’m currently trying to piece them all together.
1. Design Your Environment
First rule of James Clear’s Atomic Habits. All our habits, good and bad, start with a cue that triggers a craving, which then makes us want to perform the habit. So eliminating the cue can eliminate the whole habit. And for good habits, a more visible cue makes the habit much easier to perform.
In practice, this means not buying junk food, deleting social media apps, laying out your workout clothes the night before, etc.
The goal is to create an environment where your desired behaviour is the easiest option and where bad habits are hard to do.
2. Sleep and Exercise
Caring for your body properly should be a given, but it’s often exactly what we need discipline for in the first place. A healthy amount of sleep, exercise and the right food significantly improve your stress levels, your ability to regulate your emotions and your willpower.
So if you have trouble with any of those things, I suggest fixing them first so that everything else becomes easier.
https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s11920-014-0500-x
https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/02699931.2016.1168284
3. Control What You Consume
This is also part of designing your environment. The videos you watch, the podcasts you listen to, the books you read, the people you talk to. Those things influence how you think, so being intentional about them pays off.
If you follow disciplined people on Social Media who pursue their dreams, you’ll start wanting to do the same. If you surround yourself with people who have ambitions similar to yours, you are going to want to grow with them.
What you see around you all the time is what sets your own standard.
https://hcp.hms.harvard.edu/publication/spread-obesity-large-social-network-over-32-years (This study suggests that friends and family members influence our behaviour)
https://sml.stanford.edu/publications/2014/experimental-evidence-massive-scale-emotional-contagion-through-social-networks (This study suggests that what you consume on Social Media affects your mood and emotions)
4. Shift Your Identity
What you do depends on who you think you are. And of course, who you think you are depends on what you do. Because of that interdependence, it is hard to say which one you should address first. So I’d say: do both at the same time.
I didn’t believe in affirmations for a long time, but research suggest they work. Affirmations work by reinforcing neural connections in your brain that shape how you think about yourself.
And our actions are largely determined by who we think we are. If you think you are a non-smoker, you won’t pick up a cigarette, because non-smokers don’t smoke. If you think you are a writer, you will sit down and write, because that’s what writers do.
By repeating the affirmative thought over and over again, it eventually becomes a belief that you hold about yourself and you begin to act accordingly.
And if you build the habits that correspond to that belief while affirming yourself, you also build self-trust, because your words, actions and beliefs match up.
https://jennaoverbaughlpc.com/science-behind-affirmations/
5. Increase Reaction Time
We all know the decisive moment when we decide what to do: 2 seconds where we either start scrolling or put our phone away. Two seconds in which we either get up or fall back onto the pillows.
Two seconds isn’t really enough time to make a rational choice. That’s why increasing reaction time can do so much! For example, I have an app on my phone that blocks social media for 10 more seconds after I click on it. That’s usually enough to change my mind if there is nothing specific I need it for.
When you notice you are at that decisive moment, it helps to close your eyes for a second and take a few deep breaths. Then you can act. It doesn’t take long, but it helps a lot!
6. Self-Talk
This is probably what works best for me. When I am at that decisive moment that I just mentioned, I say out loud what I am about to do. Then I say why I don’t want that and what I want to do instead. While talking, just get up and start doing what you actually want to do. Talking distracts you, and most of the time I find myself standing up without having consciously decided to do so.
Example: “I am about to start scrolling on Instagram because I am feeling overwhelmed, but I don’t want to scroll, because I will feel shit about it later and waste tons of time. So I’ll get up and work out now, because that’s good for my body and will make me feel better.”
7. Time Limit
You may have heard about the 5-minute rule, which says that if you dread a task, you should work on it for only 5 minutes. After that, you can keep going if you want to, but you are allowed to stop. Usually, you’ll just keep going because “Now that I have started I might as well finish it”.
It doesn’t necessarily have to be 5 minutes, but any time limit on a task you’ve been procrastinating on is incredibly useful. When I am writing a post, I usually tell myself that I’ll work on it for one hour. After that hour, I either take a break or I stop entirely. But knowing in advance when you will stop makes it easier to start, because it doesn’t seem as daunting as just having a huge task looming over you.
8. Reset Your Dopamine System
Easy dopamine is everywhere nowadays: junk food, movies, books, social media, music, etc.
If you can get dopamine that easily, accomplishment alone can’t really compete. So we need to rewire our brains to actually crave discipline instead of Netflix.
First of all, we need to distance ourselves a little from easy dopamine. I’m not saying you should swear off all of those things completely (because what kind of life would that be?), but just a small reduction can already help.
Secondly, we need to attach a reward to the habits we want to implement. You need to be careful here, because if you eat a bar of chocolate for every paragraph that you read, you may end up with other problems. But the more you distance yourself from quick dopamine, the easier it gets to find rewards: A 10-minute walk after 1 hour of deep work. A quick dance break after studying. Reading a book after working out. Whatever works for you, really.
(This tip has also been mentioned in Atomic Habits by James Clear)
9. Track the Habit
Most people use tracking itself as a reward system, and that works.
But I also use it to build more awareness. I don’t do it to keep a streak going; I do it to be more aware when I break one.
It seems more real when I see the number of minutes (or hours) I spent on Social Media than when I just accept the slip and move on.
10. Prevent Slip-Ups
A very important reality is that you will slip. Everyone slips. What I like to do in that situation is write down exactly what made me slip.
That way, you can identify your weaknesses over time and prepare for moments you know will be difficult.
Example: I realised that I tend to start scrolling in the evening, so I put app restrictions on my phone from 8 pm onwards. I also tend to stay in bed after turning off the alarm, so I put my phone on the other side of the room, right by the light switch. That way, I have to get up to turn off the alarm and switching on the light will wake me up.
If you guys have any more hacks for staying disciplined, let me know! I hope some of these could help and I’ll see you next week 💕
🖥️ sources:
https://www.simplypsychology.com/articles/building-self-discipline-guide
Baumeister, Bratslavsky, Muraven, & Tice, 1998: willpower is a limited resource
